Hookers and Hangers Blogfest – The Hooker Section

The ladies over at Falling for Fiction have created the Hookers & Hangers Blogfest.  What a great idea?  I know I said I wasn’t going to look at my WIP until September, but I thought this would be a fun exercise and a great learning experience.

So, here it goes. Some choice 1st lines from chapters of my novel – I’m Coming Home.

  • Even after making this trip about 2 times a year for the last three years, Sydney still has it in her mind that a 16 hour plane ride is something to avoid at all cost.
  • Again, Sydney was surprised at how flirty she was being, but it felt so natural, talking to him like this; well, more like texting him like this.
  • Sydney woke up at 6:00 am the next morning, surprisingly not tired and, with a smile on her face.
  • Sydney came down in the elevator looking cute on the outside and feeling like she was going to throw up on the inside.
  • Stepping out of the club onto Bourbon Street among all the lights and sounds and people, Sydney realized she was more drunk then she thought.
  • Even though they had made up, Sydney was shaken by the little argument when she woke up the next day.
  • At the end of the day, the crew went to watch the leaders finish on 18 while Sydney stayed behind to clean up.
  • A little embarrassed by the scene they were making, Sydney wiped the tears from her eyes, “You almost missed me.”
  • June went by fast at the Academy and in a few weeks, John would be coming to visit.
  • John woke up around 4:00 am, still getting used to the time difference, he rolled over and put his arms around Sydney and kissed her neck to wake her up.
  • Sydney spent the next couple of months home doing exactly what she wanted to do; slept, reconnected with family and it gave John the opportunity to get to know her family.

What an eye opener.  These need a lot of work.  I would appreciate any suggestions.  Click on the badge to read other writer’s Hookers.  And, come back on Wednesday to see my Hangers.  

45 thoughts on “Hookers and Hangers Blogfest – The Hooker Section

  1. My favorite one is the Bourbon Street one. I’ve been there! What a totally interesting and fantastic place. SO much character. Great setting for a scene or book!

    1. Hi Kelley. Thanks so much. I love New Orleans, too. It is a great place for a funny love story. I lived there for a bit so it was fun to put streets and places into this WIP.

    1. Hi Suzi. I hadn’t thought about that, but looking over my WIP, I had to add the texting element in there because that is how we communicate these days. Plus, part of my story the characters are on opposite sides of the world, texting works better. Phone calls from China to America are not cheap.

  2. My favourite first line is: “Sydney came down in the elevator looking cute on the outside and feeling like she was going to throw up on the inside.” Excellent! 🙂 Oh, and it thanks to you that I’ve joined this blogfest, so… thanks !

  3. You had some good ones in there! I really liked “Sydney came down in the elevator looking cute on the outside and feeling like she was going to throw up on the inside.” Been there!

    1. Hi Tobi. Thanks for stopping by. How much fun is this Blogfest? Yeah, I have been there, too. See reply to Kela comment for into as to why she feels like she is going to throw up.

    1. Hi Kela. Thanks. I believe that is everyone’s favorite. Because haven’t we all been there. Just some insight. Sydney is about to go on a first date with this guy. It is been awhile since she had been on a date with anyone. The word nervous doesn’t even begin to cover how she is feeling. Wow. That was good. I need to add that.

  4. You said you were open to suggestions…so… Overall, I felt like these sentences were great, and gave me a good idea of what your story is about. The only real suggestion I would have is the use of name, especially when consistently starting the sentences with the name. Sometimes stories can be bogged down when continually reading the MCs name, or “Her/she/he” etc. It’s a simple fix, basic sentence structure stuff. In example “Sydney came down in the elevator looking cute on the outside and feeling like she was going to throw up on the inside.” Can become something like, “Riding down the elevator, Sydney knew she looked cute (you could maybe delve into what she was wearing, make up, hair, etc to give the reader a picture of what CUTE is), on the outside, but internally, she felt like she was going to throw up.” (Just placed her name in a different place, etc.) There are ways to write around names, which is basically the same thing.

    Thanks for sharing these! It sounds excellent so far!

    1. Hi Lynne. Thank you so much. I love the detailed feedback. It is exactly what I asked for. So, thank you for taking the time and thank you for the suggestions. I will take a look at them closely.

  5. This is my favourite:

    Sydney came down in the elevator looking cute on the outside and feeling like she was going to throw up on the inside.

    Nice 🙂

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