SQM – Immortals

immortals-poster07The New Superman before he was Superman

I watched this movie a few weeks ago because I really liked Henry Cavill in The Tudors and in anticipation of the Man of Steel movie.  I thought the movie was going to be like 300 (brilliant), Troy (amazing) and Clash of the Titans (a great story).

It saddens me to report, the only good thing about this movie was the poster and Henry Cavill’s chest and abs.  Allow me to guide you through the good, corny and down right bad movie that is Immortals.

Good
Henry Cavill’s body, Some visually stunning fight scenes and the gods.
Let me show you the God.
 

This scene is long, but really good. The God’s were beautiful.

Corny – The movie made me laugh out loud on more then one occasion and it wasn’t a comedy.

“Let me enlighten you priest.” Then Mickey Rourke’s character set him on fire.

“At least I’ll be spared a slow death. Indecision is not their style.” And then he’s set on fire which is a slow agonizing and painful death. 

“We have a war to fight.” Well, duh Theisus. It’s not very motivating to say we have a war to loose.

“It takes more then lighting candles to make babies.” I guess this women is not so easily woo’ed by romantic gestures.

“Personally I’d rather fight with a mad man then against him.” Only a mad man would say that. 

“It was designed to be impenetrable.  Have you ever know of a gate to be designed to be anything but.” Again, Mr. Obvious rears it’s ugly head.

“I have faith in you Thesius.” All powerful, omnipotent Zeus has faith in his son.

“In peace son bury their fathers. In wars fathers bury their sons.” Ok, I actually like this quote. Sad, but true.

“He bears the olive branch of peace.” But, let’s end it with another cliche for good measure.

Down Right Bad

Boris the Animal helmets – see my post on Boris from Men In Black 3.

images

Shield bashing drum cadence speech.

Cliche to the point it hurt to watch.  I thought they were about to break out in a synchronized dance.

It’s just a really bad movie.

Have you seen Immortals, what did you think?

 

11 thoughts on “SQM – Immortals

  1. I watched it for the same reason you did: Henry Cavill. 🙂 Your review made me chuckle. There were some pretty scenes, but the cliches were overwhelming. Let’s hope Man of Steel is better! (I hear it is.)

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