Insecure Writer’s Support Group – Envy

InsecureWritersSupportGroup

Support Group time. Thanks to super host Alex J. Cavanaugh and his co-hosts Nancy Thompson, Mark Koopmans & Heather Gardner! Click the badge to visit other group members.

My insecurity stems from the green eyed monster creeping into my psyche and I don’t like.

Three things happened in the last two weeks:

I read debut novels by two talented young authors and before I could stop myself, I uttered, “Well, their novels aren’t any better then mine, are they?”

I sent out four query letters and received three rejections.  I think I handled it pretty well, until I researched tips on query letters and came across a story about a writer who sent out one query letter, signed with that agent and now has a 3 book deal.

And,

I drove down the highway yesterday and was cut off by a cute red Mercedes convertible. Now, I don’t typically have car envy, but this car’s personalized license plate said, WRITER. Obnoxious, I know, but kind of cool.

I don’t like being jealous or envious. I know everyone gets what they get when they get it.  There’s room for all of us to be successful in whatever we choose to do, but it’s hard when every where you turn, it seems to be happening for others.

Do you suffer from the green eyed monster?  How do you deal with it? 

37 thoughts on “Insecure Writer’s Support Group – Envy

  1. Ugh. Envy. Yep, I suffer from it. Not often, but enough that I know it’s not healthy. Rejections are never fun, no matter who we are or where we are on our journey. I think the best we can do is remind ourselves we write because we love it. The contracts will come, the book sales will come, and we’ll still probably feel a tad envious of something or someone. Keep challenging yourself to be your best and the rest will sort itself out, right? God, I hope so. That’s the mantra I keep telling myself!

    1. Yeah. Me, too. I think I’m in trouble if I ever start begrudging people their happiness. As long as I can still be happy for others, I’m good. Love your attitude T. Thanks.

  2. Writers envy – you betcha. But I believe that it will come back to me one day when someone is jealous of me. Reverse Karma, perhaps?

  3. Great post Sydney. I think we’ve all experienced what you describe here. Things seem easy for everyone else except us, don’t they? What keeps me going is the hope that my stories will be published one day too. If I quit now they’ll never be. Hope you have a great 4th July! 🙂

  4. I know how you feel! I am very envious too and in our defence, it is not that we don’t want other writers to have that success, but just that there should be some of it left when it is our turn, right? I always wonder when it will be my turn, but like you said, it happens for different people at different times. I just have to be patient. Best of luck and don’t give up trying.

      1. Let me clarify: envy can be an ugly thing, but if looked upon in a healthy manner, it can be used as a great motivation tool. A lot of my closest friends are writers. I would love nothing more than to be a better writer than they are. But I won’t be unless I keep writing.

  5. Good for the owner of that plate and car… I don’t care… really I don’t… grrr
    lol I guess I do, not in comparison with other author’s works but just at how seamlessly some of them make their words flow. Do I know that they probably pulled their hair out as many times as I am? Sure, but still they got it there and I just want mine there too, like now. hehe.

    The green eyed monster visits everyone at some point. I mean, otherwise, we would be totally full of ourselves and walk on water or something. If its not overdone then I think we can always use it as motivation 😉

  6. I try pretty hard not to get jealous. But there are times when I have had great story ideas and suddenly, there’s a brand new book out, close to my idea. It seems like I catch the cool vibe just a tad bit too late. But then I have to stop and remind myself, they aren’t telling it the way I will. My voice is different. So is yours! You’ll get there. 😀

  7. You’re not alone here, envy is part of human nature and strikes all of us in some form or another. When it hits me I try and use those feelings as motivation to push harder and I remind myself that everyone’s journey is different. Then, I have a beer. I’m usually good by the time I’m done with it. (;

  8. Am I ever envious? Yes! Since I’m on AgentQueryConnect.com, I see writer success stories all the time. It’s like, UGH…but then they’re my friends(or at least someone I’ve seen around) too so it makes me say YAY. But if I never had any envy, I don’t think I would be able to pull out of the funks I keep finding myself in. Nothing wrong with a little envy every once in a while, or lot in a while. 🙂

  9. Hey Sydney! Yep I think we’re all guilty of this at times. I found it REALLY hard at first when writers who were WAY younger than me were signing book deals. And of course, whenever I read something I found mediocre and thought, “how the heck are they pubbed and I’m not??”
    But it gets us nowhere. Truth is, the writers who got agents after one query and only were on sub for 2 weeks before signing book deals or going to auction are few and far between–which is why we hear about them. Most of us have to work extra hard, and when you think about it, it’s really better that way cuz we earn it. People don’t mock or scoff at you when you’ve worked your butt off to get somewhere, and you always have a tale to tell of how you made it that lets others admire you. That’s more important than having others envy how easy it was for you IMO. 🙂

  10. I try not to be but that just manages to make me feel inferior. Sigh…all we can do is keep writing! 😉

  11. Hi Sydney! I think we all suffer a bit of envy, but it’s normal. We’re only human. If we put it into perspective and use it as a positive tool rather than a negative, we’re good. Use it to motivate yourself to work harder. Great post, BTW. 🙂

  12. I think we all do. I haven’t gotten to that point yet, querying agents, but I can understand your frustration. I can’t give you any advice, it’s not like I have qualifications or anything.

    But keep calm and write on. 🙂

  13. I think it’s normal to feel envy, and it’s annoying when people who have less talent get ahead (sometimes they generally do have less talent, even though it’s not a polite thing to say).

    Keep at it though – these thigs will pass, and hopefully you’ll come out of the experience wiser, either a bit more philosophical, or with a vein of emotions to mine.

  14. Just reading through everyones replies, so i guess you know now that you’re not alone 😉

    I dont get seriously jealous, but quite often i read something and immediately I’m like “damn, i wish i could write like that!”

    xx

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