V – Virgin Atlantic Upperclass

Are we boarding yet? No. Man, I can’t wait to get on this plane.  Look at it. This plane is huge. I bet it could fit about 300 people in it.  300 people like sardines.  But, not me. No, not this time. I get to sit in first class.

Oh, I ‘m sorry, here at Virgin Atlantic it is referred to as Upperclass.  Mr. Branson, the owner of Virgin Airlines is a little different.  He is British after all.  “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass.”  What are the other passengers called Middleclass and Lowclass.  Yeah, that’s it.  Just this morning, I was Lowclass and now I am Upperclass.  Who says money can’t buy you class?

Great. She is about to make an announcement.  Here it is. “In a few minutes we will begin boarding flight V200 to Sydney Australia.  We will start with Upperclass passengers first.”  Yes, that’s me.  Upperclass gets to board first.  Yes.  Wait, she is still talking.  “At this time, we would like to welcome those passengers with young children or those who may need a little more time to board.”  What?  I though upperclass boarded first.  You mean children and old people have more rights then “Upperclass.”  Wait a minute, Syd, don’t let this go to your head.  It is just a seat on a plane.  Yep, a seat in “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”.

“Now welcoming Upperclass passengers.”  Yippee.  I get to board upperclass, thank you very much.  Why has my brain turned my inner voice into an elitist British aristocrat?  I seem to be walking a little taller down the jet way as well.  Some might say I am even strutting.  I kind of feel like a runway model on a catwalk. Perhaps a model for a DVF show (Diane VonFurstenburg for those not in the know). I bet she rides in “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass” when she crosses the pond.

Is my imagination getting away from me a little?

“Good afternoon, welcome to Virgin Atlantic, may I see your ticket?”  Reality.  Why does she need to see my ticket? I bet she thinks I couldn’t possibly be sitting in Upperclass.  Well, I am Missy.

Oh, wait, the stewardess asks to see everyone’s ticket.  Oh, and she is escorting me to my seat.  My full on lounge seat with foot rest.  My seat which fully reclines into a bed.  My seat that has more buttons then a panel in a cockpit.  This is awesome.  Oh, and she is asking me if I would like a drink before the plane takes off.  “Would you like some champagne?”  Hell yeah!

God, I love Upperclass.  Nice touch, Mr. Branson.

These seats are so comfortable and the champagne. So, good!  I feel like I have this goofy grin on my face.  But, so does everyone else. Must be how we are supposed to look sitting in “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”.  Or I could be drunk.

Wait, I need to pay attention to the safety features.  Maybe there are different rules for the passengers in “Virgin Atlantic Upper Class”.  Um, no not really.  “In the event of a crash, blah blah blah.”   It is all the same.  I guess if the plane where to crash, classes wouldn’t matter.  But, when they announced my death it would say, “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass passenger, – – – died in a plane crash.”  Ok, that is a bit morbid.

The plane is taking off.  I think the take off is smoother in “Virgin Atlantic Upper Class”.  Definitely smoother.  No really, it is.

The stewardess hands me a menu.  Not your typical beef or chicken choices.  It is a full menu.  The type of menu that top chefs would envy.  There are entrees, not an entree, entrees and a choice of appetizers and desserts as well.  I choose the salad.  Then the ravioli.  And a cheese course for dessert.  But, of course, a cheese course.  There’s that British dudes voice again.

Oh, and did I mention the selection of wines. Yes, they have a selection of wine.  “A nice German reisling would go great with the seafood salad.”  The waitress/stewardess actually said that.  And, German reisling is my favorite wine.  Wow. “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”.  It’s like you knew I was coming.

Now that dinner is over, I think I will get a little sleep. But, wait they have movies.  Tons of movies.  I haven’t seen that or that or that. Damn. I need to get some sleep, but I could also catch up on all the movies I have missed in the last 5 years.  Ok, one movie, then I will see how I feel.

Ok, now time for bed. How do I work this think again?  Damn.  Didn’t know I needed my pilots license in order to work the bed.  Oh, yeah, I have to actually get up.  Well, not everything is done for you in “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”.  So, I hit the button.  That is so cool.  For some reason, the movie Transformers pops in my head.

And, it is comfortable, too.  If I was over 6 foot, might be a tad tight.  Perfect for my 5’7″ frame.  Not much elbow room and it will take some effort to flip over, but what am I complaining about, I am in “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”.

 9 hours later

Who turned on the lights?  Are we in Sydney already?  She is handing me another menu. Oh, it is time for breakfast.  Omelet or pancakes? Coffee, tea or a mimosa? Mimosa, please.

Mr. Branson, again, nice touch.

The descent and touch down again, so smooth.

“Thank you for flying Virgin Atlantic,we hope you will join us again.”

In “Virgin Atlantic Upperclass”, anytime.

11 thoughts on “V – Virgin Atlantic Upperclass

  1. Got to love flying first class. Massively overpriced for the privilege, but it does mean you don’t crush your legs as tall men are apt to do in coach/cattle/ working class or whatever you want to call it.

    Love the allusions to the British accent. Do us Brits get a top hat and tails in your imagination too?

    1. Yeah. I feel so bad for tall people and anyone who is over 150 pounds riding in the back of planes. There is just no way to get comfortable. Especially when you are on a flight over 3 hours.

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