This was a quote from Lil C on the 8th season of So You Think You Can Dance.

Lil C is always so eloquent and I am sure he has been quoted ad nauseam.  He is quite the poet.  But, this quote touched me in particular.

I feel like there is nothing that I have ever done in my year on this earth that is “8 notches above perfection”.  No one has every said or even considered something I have done any where near the 1’st notch, let alone the 8th.  Worst yet, there is nothing that I have done myself that would make me say that about myself.  And, really that is what is important.  Not that I am striving for perfection.  I am striving to be proud of myself.  To me, that is perfection.  All levels of perfection.

Now I know what your saying.  You are being to hard on yourself.  You need to work on your self esteem.  There are people in this world that love you.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah blah blah!   I know and that is all great, but what I am striving for here is bigger then that.

I want to participate in something that I am proud of and where I will achieve that level of perfection that I am talking about.  I want to participate in life.  That is the first step.

In love, in relationships, in my career, in my life, I don’t think I have started to participate.  I have no idea what that person felt like hearing that said about something that she did.  I can only imagine.  I bet that she probably felt proud of herself.  She felt accomplished.  She felt that her hard work had paid off. She felt like all the sacrifices, all the shit that she put up  with him her life where so worth it at that moment.  And, she probably enjoyed the moment then pushed herself even more to feel that way again.  She participated.   I have never done any of that . . . yet!!

So, I have decided right here and now to participate.  I know what I want to do and I have the imagination and the drive to know what I want to achieve in my life.  In all aspects of my life.  Now I am ready to participate in order to achieve those things.  I feel that I can achieve perfection just by being a player in the game.  No more sitting and watching it happen to others. Or worse yet, sitting around other who don’t have the same drive.  Mediocrity is unacceptable.  I am striving for more in every category of my life.

I want to be 8 notches above perfection.  I want to see what life feel like from that height.