Central park was unusually loud on 5th Avenue at this hour, Alana noticed. The park side of the street was crowded and she was having trouble getting into a rhythm on her morning jog. She couldn’t remember ever having to dodge people like this at 6 am.
At 82nd Street, Alana barely missed running over a man who was sitting on the sidewalk crying. He was in an old dusty grey suit. Strange.
Alana decided to slow down and walk until she could continue her run at the 72nd street entrance to the park.
Moving through the crowd, Alana began to notice that the people in the crowd were not dressed appropriate for the time of day or the weather. It was November. Everyone was dress for summer. They looked like they were going to a garden party. To Alana, they looked happy and drunk.
As Alana passed by, a handsome man gave out a chuckle. The man looked like an extra from the party scene in The Great Gatsby. He was talking to two women. Both were stunning, in ankle length sun dress with big yellow, purple and pink flowers on them.
“The lights. Did you see the lights?” One women said.
“The music was phenomenal.” The guy with the smart looks and loud laugh said.
“I loved the food.” the other women said, “I hope we can go back.”
Suddenly an elderly women interrupted the three hipsters.
‘That women looks like my grandmother,’ Alana thought to herself.
“You can’t go back in. They never let you back in.” The old women was dressed in a similar dress as the two young ladies. But, where they looked like they were ready for a fashion photo shoot about the 1920’s, the elderly women looked like she had been wearing her clothes since 1920. The only reason Alana recognized the dress was because the large colorful flowers were still visible on the faded fabric.
Alana continued on towards where the crowd was entering Central Park.
A younger women grabbed Alana’s arm, “Have you seen it?”
“Seen what?” The women lead Alana to the park entrance. As they turned the corner, Alana saw it.
It was magnificent. It was a castle. A castle in the middle of central park. Alana had taken this route many times and she was sure that it had not been there before.
The women let go of Alana’s arm and took off towards the castle.
Most people walking towards it were like Alana, mesmerized and curious. Those walking away were drunk and happy, but those who had been before, just stood around looking old and angry, like the old women and the old man crying on the street. Angry and desperate to get back in.
A jet flew overhead confusing Alana. You don’t hear jet engines overhead in New York City. Which made Alana realize she wasn’t in New York anymore.
“What is going on in that place?” Alana said.
6 thoughts on “What is Going on in that Place?”
I love multidimensional stories. 🙂 My main critique would be about the first paragraph. It was very repetitive in words and meanings with ‘normal’ and establishing how early in the morning it is. Other than that, there was good flow and it felt to me as if you packed a big story in fewer than 500 words.
Thanks Carrie. I will take a look at the first paragraph again. I love constructive critiques. And, appreciate the feedback.
I like the shortened paragraph much better. It helps get you to the story faster, too.
If she’s not in NY anymore, I wonder if she’s in heaven or somewhere divine. Since you wrote that the castle popped up out of no where (or at least it seems that way, since the main character didn’t notice it before), this story had me thinking if maybe there is an underlying lesson with the elderly people and others who saw something great but are now angry that they cannot return — and if there is a lesson, I wonder if that lesson is to be grateful for experiences and possessions or to be in the present and grateful for this moment…or maybe the lesson is for people to stop being so greedy…be happy that you received at least one visit to the castle! This was a good read 🙂
Hi Nicole. Thanks so much for the feedback. Honestly, I loved this photo and had too many ideas from it. I wasn’t sure I picked the right one, but the fact that you saw so many angles of the story make me happy. I like the idea of being grateful in the moment because they don’t last and you can’t go back.